Emp's 16th Review For A Horrible Game
I'm going to say this right now. jazza741 requested that the revenge of sploder be reviewed, so I played it and am going to review it. This game was horrible, and jazza741 has no right to be asking people to play this game of his. Don't ask for me to review a bad game, or this is what you get. On another note, please comment in the Brutally Honest Reviews thread on the forums. Back to the game, I've never played any of jazza741's game and am glad I haven't. the revenge of sploder received endless praise in its comments section, but the game was worthy of none of these comments. The game was lacking in all aspects, and I mean all of them. There are useless objects everywhere, there's no scenery and the enemy placement is horrific. Get ready for another one of emp's flame reviews!
I played through this whole game, so I'll tell you what happens. You drop into a tunnel and jump to grab some crystals. You then ignore a few enemies by jumping over them, swim up a small water area in which you completely ignore a piranha, then you jump over some other useless enemies. I honestly did not attack one monster while I played this game, not one. You jump over a few useless lava pits, then climb up a ladder where two bats attack you. I let them attack me and just keep on going through the game. You come to a car, ignore it and jump off the ledge. You jump over some thugs and enter a room with more crystals. Doesn't that game sound like such a bore? I made it sound more exciting than it really is! I'll point out the specific flaws of the revenge of sploder's gameplay. The enemies are all bunched together and defeating them takes no skill. If jazza741 had actually taken some time to place the enemies carefully, then the game wouldn't have been so bad. Another flaw is the placement of the floor blocks. I was able to pass up many of the obstacles by just jumping on top of the enemies. If the enemies had been placed in their own area then the game would have been better. This could be done by using the tiles to box in different areas, making it harder for the player to progress. The game was just a big jumble. The crystal placement was also a huge flaw. Since when are 70-something crystals needed in a one minute game? The first crystal is randomly given to the player, then there's another 25 random crystals. At the very end of the revenge of sploder are the other 50 crystals waiting to be uselessly grabbed. the revenge of sploder had one last gameplay flaw that I'm going to discuss, and that is traps. The whole game is a cake walk. There were very few places where the player can actually die. Even in the robot area I just exited the robot while I was on top of the enemies to escape them. If there was even one trap it would not have been so easy to beat. To sum this paragraph up, the gameplay lacks in every aspect.
The scenery was non existent, which didn't exactly kill the game because it's already dead. If the blocks had been more carefully there would be room for scenery. A consistent background would have helped this game loads. the revenge of sploder also lacks in the fun element. There's no fun puzzles, no fun scenery, and nothing to look forward to in this awful game. I can't really discuss the scenery much more, because it wasn't there.
jazza741's game was not epic in the slightest. I can assure you that the ratings I'll give it later are going to be very bad. Sorry man, but this'll teach you to actually work on your games. I personally take up to 3 hours to make a game like Diamonds Arent Forever, but most game makers take longer than that.
Suggestion: Make your games less random. Work on placing the enemies properly and using less useless blocks.
Ratings (Out of 5):
Enemy Placement: 0
Congratulations jazza741, you've received my worst score yet. Now please be a tough cookie and take it like a man! Go out there and make an epic game for Sploder to play.
This has been a BHR review. Please comment on the quality of the review.