[BHR] Emp's First Review Of 2011

Review by empoleon on Saturday, January 1st 2011

2010 was a fun year, but now it's time for the next year. To celebrate the new year I have another review for you guys to read. Yippee! Apparently I'm too harsh of a reviewer according to some, but what they don't realize is that they're just whiney little babies. I'm here to tell you that I, along with my BHR crew, will be delivering brutally honest reviews again in 2011. Thanks for reading the [BHR] reviews, and I hope you keep reading. ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg is a horrible name. Whenever I want to type the name in this review, I'll have to use capitals, then lowercase, then rinse and repeat. What a horrible name, seriously. ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg is a mediocre game at best. So here we go!

You start out with a life given to you, along with two guns. You jump up a few tiles while being shot at by turrets, jump off a small edge and watch a ninja get caught by a rollercoaster. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to fight the ninja, but instead it's thrown to wear it can't reach you. After that you push a useless box, jump on a few wheel things over some lava. Then you come to an annoying part where balls (hehe) roll down kills and you have to climb up them. The rest of the game follows this pattern. There's faulty enemies, moronic "puzzles" and dull action sequences. First of all, the enemies are boringly placed. If they're not faulty, all they do is hit you. There aren't any new tricks that the enemies do and there isn't any fun in holding down the space bar. A lot of the maneuvering is useless and causes the player to become bored fast. For instance in the very beginning you are to jump up a few tiles, but that's no fun. Why not have some sliders, or a simple staircase instead? The intro to a game is what hooks the player. If there's no hook, then you won't catch the player's attention and the game will go unnoticed, just like ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg did. Third, the placement of blocks seems lazy. There's quite a few loopholes in the design and the blocks are kind of just thrown around. Lastly, the gameplay is no fun. I doubt many Sploder members like to mindlessly hit an enemy or jump over a few tiles. There's nothing new or exciting in ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg, you just, as I said, hit a few enemies and jump over some blocks. After playing this game I really don't want to play any other game of captainalex's.

There's no scenery in this game, but it could really use some. Perhaps if the rooms were closed and a background was added, it would look better. The tile style is inconsistent and doesn't follow any interesting patter. The backgrounds that are in the game are really weird and are placed in odd places. The looks of the game really need to be cleaned up.

ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg is not epic at all. If any user thinks that capitalizing a few letters in a name makes it cool, you're crazy. It makes you look like a huge d-bag. There's nothing new in the game and there's no exciting action. Puzzles are almost non existent. I do not recommend

any users use ThE eVoLuTiOn Of GaMiNg as a model for their games.

Suggestion: Try harder on your games. Make sequences that leave a dent in a person. The game should have more personality in it.

Ratings (Out of 5):

Entertainment: __
Enemy Placement: _
Creativity: __
Design: _
Epicness: _
Overall: _

captainalex, study some other people's games and figure out what makes them fun and/or interesting. Your technique could use a lot of polishing.

This has been a BHR review. Please comment on the quality of the review.