You, The Master Of Breaking

Break Master is a game created by memorycode

Yeah, I’m going to let you know right off the bat, this is my third review, and this one isn’t going to be pretty. Today, folks…I’m going to be reviewing a game that every synapse of my brain is telling me absolutely does not need a review. And no, it absolutely does not need a review. It has been reviewed and it came out over 2 years ago. Nonetheless, I want to write a review on this game, so if I’m having fun writing you should have fun reading! Thus, I’m reviewing it anyway. “It” being Break Master by memorycode. This game is a PPG…matter-breaking…simulator? I don’t even know…this is going to be difficult.

Alright, put yo’ big boy pants on, warm up your hands and get ready for some kar-a-tay! Hiyyya! Alright, so the game starts off with a level that just seems like a troll. It asks you to try to chop this metal block with your hand; these blocks are infinite so you just keep trying. It tells you that if you can’t do it then press spacebar and your sensei will take care of it for you. However, we are gamers; we don’t want to give up! So this level forces you to swallow your pride which is surprisingly frustrating, press spacebar, and blow up the metal block three times. I mean come on, if we are absolutely hopeless to break the metal, why do we have to beg for help three times just to further our humiliation?

One thing you’ll probably notice in this game that is kind of neat is that memorycode had the cute idea to make the eyes of your sensei follow your hand, which is an embodiment of you. How clever. Unfortunately, that is virtually all there is to mention in this game for visuals, I mean, the hand looks kind of like the hand that would appear on screen during some fighting type Pokémon attacks, so that was cool I guess. However, the only thing that changes every level is the variety of block being infinitely spawned. There is no detail whatsoever, just a bland background and bland everything. And a pair of eyes. Well, I didn’t expect to spend this whole paragraph on that but oh well, next.

So every level in this game is simply the same thing as the one before: break a block ten times by dragging your hand down at a high velocity. It does have very little added difficulty every level, however; If you happen to understand the concept of the game well, and have good timing, you probably won’t even notice a difficulty change. I certainly didn’t, and this was about as fun for me as those shooters made by total nubs that have you traversing a playfield larger than the Monopoly in the Park board of San Jose all in search of a couple of crystals. Granted, playing on that huge Monopoly board would be immensely more enjoyable than Break Master or those horrid shooters.

Now I could go on and try to make you readers laugh and giggle, but at this point it would just be for the sake of making the review longer, because there really isn’t much left to say about this game. It only has six levels and still doesn’t have the decency or class to have a neat little ending level to give you some sense of conclusion. The game ends when you hit the tenth block in level six. What a grandiose finale[/sarcasm]. Anyways, this game didn’t impress me if you couldn’t tell.

The Wrap-Up

This weird PPG is thankfully quite short, and you’ll probably kind of enjoy it because it is a bit different than your average PPG. However, there is nothing special about it and hardly displays creativity. It has one kind of neat idea…six times over. A waste of time in my mind.

Rating: 15.193/100

I use a super-secret and amazing formula in order to rate games, check it out… http://forums.sploder.com/index.php/topic,371010.msg4449809.html#msg4449809

Feature Worthy: Absolutely not, I can’t believe that this game was featured. But it definitely did not deserve it.

Did you like this game? Check this one out!

http://www.sploder.com/games/members/memorycode/play/knockout-master/

Another kind of unorthodox PPG game by memorycode, I honestly couldn’t figure out how to play it, but if you can it looks like there is some fun to be had there!