Review Adventure

spaceship adventure is a game created by adzmannamzda

Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? Let's see...oh wow. Over an entire year since I last graced the reviews page. I do not know how much the community base has changed or any of that since then. However, for any of you review readers who do not recognize my name, I reviewed (what I am sure is a record) 8 games in my first 4 days as a reviewer. If you haven't read all of those, I highly recommend clicking on my name and checking out the rest of my reviews if you find that you like this one. Anyhoo, since then, I have not reviewed another game. So...here I am back again, doing what I do best. And what is that? Well...telling you all about old, irrelevant games that no one cares about. I have always sought to change that though, and to bring to the rest of Sploder my love of exploring old games on the site. With all of that in mind, this one is going to be a non-juniortennis7 review. He of course is my favorite user to review games of, but not today! Today, I bring to you all a very interesting little game. It is a shooter that is a whopping 7 years old. It was featured, got a couple thousand plays, and undoubtedly was never heard of again.

Our adventure today takes us as I said, seven years into the past to a featured shooter titled spaceship adventure by adzmannamzda. The title oozes creativity like foam from a rabies infested dog, while the thumbnail is as eye catching as a net in a sea of vowels. In all seriousness though, the game has about as boring of a title as one could possibly muster up, which is the leading caption beside a thumbnail that could easily be a poorly drawn hammer. The game itself is so abysmal and meatless that I am filling this review with fluff as if I'm making a child's lunch sandwich. Before I bore you all with said fluff though, let us move onto more important critiques than the unimportant aesthetic invitations.

The game has no puzzles, which I myself do not mind. However, it is not action packed either. There are a few little shootouts and then shapow, you're right by the crystal like Fox McCloud in no time. The entire game is so packed with mojo, mega healths, and various other power-ups, that dying is a distant concern. Instead, you find yourself more preoccupied with moving carefully through awkwardly designed play-field layouts that are bound to get the careless stuck. The refresh button is your friend though, and since the game takes under 3 minutes to beat without question, you're hardly risking much by trying again.

spaceship adventure is just simply..disappointing. You may be thinking: "Well Gnashty, you buffoon, this is an 8 year old shooter game that nobody knows about, what did you expect?" Well, look. It was featured. When a game is featured, I have a standard to which I hold it to. And to have such a standard is not only understandable, but necessary to ensure the prestige of the editor position here on the Main Site. It is their job to find games of the utmost quality and enjoyability. Now, I would love to see the editor who featured spaceship adventure justify that to me. All I can say to it is that I was not on the site in 2008, so perhaps the quality of this game was feature worthy at the time. If that is the case, then I am simply ignorant, and fully willing to admit that.

Excuse the excess amount of tangents I have brought us on throughout this review. This is how I do it though, I get in the mood to write about a game and I type, it is like a conversation. Just me and you...at 12:32 in the morning. At least, it is for me. But now you can have this conversation with me at any time of the day. Isn't that neat? Regardless, I suppose I should give a tad bit more insight on this adventure that adzmannamzda has so kindly offered us and then wrap it up. spaceship adventure is a lazy, messily designed, boring, unimaginative, and easy shooter that has only the temptation of playing to be astounded that such a game was featured and played by thousands of Sploder members. It has only mild action in it, and no puzzles, and what would be the final climactic action sequence in the game is entirely skippable due to the creator simply being...a doof. The man made two games, both released on the same day. So...regardless of the lackluster quality of this game, maybe if he stuck with it, we could've had the next great game creator. After all, it is not the quality of any individual game that matters most. But the qualities which individuals obtain through creating a multitude of games. And then, the quality of individual games rises to astronomical levels. Astronomical...like a spaceship adventure.

The Wrap-Up

spaceship adventure is a boring game with no challenge, scenery, or incentive to play. It is under 3 minutes long and is thoughtlessly designed. I recommend playing it, but only to understand the absurdity of its featuring.

Rating: 8.234/100

I use a super-secret and amazing formula in order to rate games, check it out!

http://forums.sploder.com/index.php/topic,371010.msg4449809.html#msg4449809

Feature Worthy: No, too short, boring, and easy.

Did you like this game? Check this one out!

http://www.sploder.com/games/members/adzmannamzda/play/crystal-quest-2/

This is adzmannamzda's one other game. It is significantly better, and may be my next review. Take a peek!