Brum Brum Goes The Car, The Sequel

Review by mat7772 on Monday, September 2nd 2013
Click to play Asphalt

Asphalt is a game created by gerald123

NOTE: This was also my Royal Review Rumble submission.

There seem to be a lot of car games on Sploder at this moment, and to be honest, who doesn’t love their Sunday morning drive? Certainly not this princess. There have been certain games that have cars in them and that have impressed me, including Parking Challenge- and the sequel to it- by Dudki, one of them I reviewed. So how will Asphalt by Gerald compare to all of these brum brum games on Sploder? Will it be a success? Or will it crash out, along with that lame joke?

“Oh Princess Matty, I hear you are not doing pre thoughts today! Is that correct your royal high flass?” Well that is correct you peasant! It is Gerald the Ferrell’s first game he published, so why would I blabber on about that? “Oh your royal high flass, you are a genius!”

(According to the oh-so reliable Urban Dictionary, flass is [quote] “an idiotic or lazy person who has not lived up to expectations” [/quote])

So here is where I start my rant on what I didn’t enjoy about this game. The cars were too bulky. Dudki also happened to make the same mistake in his game as well. With Asphalt, there are times where you will have to make a sharp turn, but due to the bulkiness of your car, it would crash into the wall and you would either get smashed into by the police or fail whatever crazy mission you were on. This was a huge problem on level four (including the introduction at the start). You would have to collect some randomly placed money on the street while avoiding the cops; however, the cars were so big that it made the level excruciatingly difficult, and frustrating. There were other levels where the car would be slim enough to fit through gaps, making this game a whole lot more enjoyable.

Brum brum. One minute you’ll be doing some sort of drag race against a hipster in his Ferrari or something, the next you’ll be chased after by those cops who probably make the street worse than you do. Either way, the missions you go on are extremely exhilarating and you’ll be putting your foot all the way down on that accelerator. The later levels had a nice mix up to them as well. The skill test on level five I enjoyed, I also thought that the little trick you had to use on level six was clever. Level seven? Yeah, that was okay. It took a long time to get past those drunk drivers and to make it worse, the character moved slowly, but I did enjoy the exploration to it.

The placement in this game was certainly interesting. What caught my attention most was how well those police cars were hidden. I like little surprises in games (if you manage to give me a fright in it then you definitely will earn the stamp of game making), and Asphalt certainly did that. Your Sunday drive can quickly become a dash for survival as Luigi chases you in his police car because he found out you broke the law, either way the placement on the police cars- and enemies in general works for me. Or should I say… enemies that are generals? :D?

The game looks absolutely boot-if-full. The road looks like a road, the cars looks like cars, and trees look like miniature plants. Wait, what? That’s right! Gerald forgot to take in that we are not giants and most trees are much larger than us! And you thought I was silly- ha! Apart from this little incident, the game looks like candy to the eye and before you know it you will lick your computer screen and it will electrocute your tongue somehow because computers can only cope with so much slobber.


Fun factor. Was this game fun? Definitely, the entire exhilarating car chases and fun activities made me have fun. Did it make me say WOW? To be honest, I did actually go WOW on the second level, but not any other levels. Was this game frustrating? At times, especially if your bulky car cannot fit through somewhere or gets stuck trying to.


-Make the car LESS BULKY. It caused some miniature frustration spasms and made me feel like clicking the red cross.

-Make the trees bigger than the people derp. Just kidding, I don’t have a problem with it.



Honestly, Gerald did not realise the potential this game had. If executed well enough, this could have EASILY got into the EGL, or at least in my opinion. For now, Asphalt remains feature worthy and only feature worthy. It has its spot somewhere on the featured page, but I think this game deserves a little bit more recognition for the exhilarating scenes in it.