[Reveal The Truth] Psychotic Pong

Review by spellmage on Monday, August 26th 2013
Click to play Psychotic Pong

Psychotic Pong is a game created by youngcaliman

Sploder... How did it come to this? How did your leaders let the most amazing site in the world... die? The answer's really simple: incompetence. Incompetence at the highest echelons of leadership! We put our trust, our faith, in half-wits!

I usually start off each review with a complaint about the name of a game. Whether it was Sto4's release sto4 or darut's hackneyed Chamber of Wisdom 2, I always see that sploder members fail to make an interesting name for a game. Now here we have a game that everyone acclaims to be as close to perfection as perfection can get: Psychotic Pong. A very, VERY misleading title. When I think of the word psychotic, I tend to think of chaos. In a game, I think about heart pounding action and immersion, much of which this game does not bring. In fact, it is one of the slowest games out there bordering the sluggish high rising platformers that plague our site even to this day. Not only do you have to precisely aim the ball, you also have to watch how powerfully you hit it. All of which takes concentration, patience, and willpower. Even if you promised me thousands of dollars at the end of the game, I would find my willpower diminishing as I push through the waves of utter filth this game provides. A better name for this game you ask? I'd reccomend Youngcali to make the next installment "Sunday Services" because this game catches my interest just as much.

So let's delve into "Sunday Services". The point of this game is to pass your prayer book between your peers and try to get it into the trash bin (where I would place it in if it were a physical object). Why? Because if you don't, luigi will steal christmas from the orphans. Honestly, who cares, it's not the point. Now while you are passing the Holy Bible around, you will notice that their are adults around so you don't want it to land in their lap. Along with that, there happens to be explosive mines laid carelessy around the church and yes, YOU DO want to hit them. Sounds fun? Maybe if it was executed in a manner which didn't take perfect aim to hit the targets. In fact, it sometimes gets so hard that you will be replaying the same level 30 times. Especially after the amazingly large difficulty spike after level 3 which will leave you tearing your hair out in anger.

What Youngcali doesn't take into account is that a HARD game doesn't necessarily mean a GOOD game. You need to have a perfect balance, especially in a game that requires SO much perfection to win a level. Youngcali REALLY needs to better lead players and help progress at an acceptable rate. The game could have been so much better if cali didn't rush things as fast as he did. AND HE COULD HAVE, he left two level spots open, both which could have been used to fix the gap between 3 and 4.

I came into the game being promised the world, a FUN experience shared with breathtaking puzzles and an event I won't EVER forget. I left, with a soft willy and a slap to the face. All of which you guys felt but were too scared to admit.

I'll say what's on my mind and spare the few of you who follow my beliefs. Sunday services can work the block all it wants and say she is the prettiest girl around, but that doesn't change the fact that she is a 2 cent escort.

This game gets 1.9 stars. It does not reveal the stamp of truth.

Do not bite at the bate of pleasure, until you know their is no hook beneath it.