Review by sploderking27 on Monday, April 2nd 2012
Click to play Crystal Cannon

Crystal Cannon is a game created by hydroix1

Cwistals?! WHERE?! WHERE?!


Hi, it’s me again, with my 4th review. I am writing this as I feel I need to make up for the appalling standard of my last one. (See last paragraph of last review to find out why) I didn’t like my 3rd review, but I shan’t delete it, as that’s cheating. I suppose this is a first for me also, because I never play PPG’s, but this game is a PPG, so record no 1. *scribbles down on jotter* I am also setting another feat in my career, by reviewing a featured game!” :D *turns page and scribbles in jotter* I am now proud to present you, my actual review of the game. (This ISN’T pre-thoughts)


As I explained above, this is my first PPG review, and my first featured game review. This game stood out, as there was a 2 part series, both featured. As you do, you go the first one 1st, and the second one, second. *Nervous laugh* Anyways, I explained all three is to explain in the first paragraph, so on to the main review it is! - I am trying not to be as negative as I was on my last review, because I have not heard a smidgeon since I showed him it!! I’m sure that it would be the same if I hammered the daylights from this game, but as it’s featured, that would be down-right jealous of me, as I haven’t had a featured game so far.


It’s not bad, but it’s not great. It has some slanty bits here and there, with a grey-scale colour-scheme. Not my choice, I must admit, but it’s not my game, I’m just the troll that writes about it and tries not to make love the thesaurus- all credit goes to Lordeldar on that one- So, the thumbnail is generally meh. Must be said, it’s not completely wonderful, but then again, you cannot make arty thumbnails on the PPG, that is for the shooter and the platformer.


So, as I play the first level, for once I read the description! Feat number three! *records in jotter* and I found it much, much easier to play the game, as I knew what I was doing for once, and the whole game flowed much easier for me I suppose because I did not: Rage Quit, throw the computer half was across the room, and scrooge my money in buying a new one- so happy days- until I reached lag on my computer (netbook) yes, I suppose it was a bit foolish of me to play on my netbook, but my computer blew up, so I can’t be using that anytime soon, even if I wanted too, as it is somewhere in a landfill site being eaten apart by seagulls... Anyway, back on topic of Crystal Cannon, and I must say, it is the first game I have enjoyed in a long time, even though I didn’t complete it, or come close to by any matter, it had some nice puzzles in there to entice you, without mad spamming of the forum saying: ”PWEASE PWAY MEH GAMES. I PUT 10 MINUTES OF TIME AND I HAV GOT A BIG HEEDACKE. PWEASE PWAY IT. I’LL SUE!” Like some people have said in the past, as I do spend a LOT of time fishing through Quote Keeper, seeing all of the advertisement fails, but there was none of this here and it just got featured.

I passed through the first couple of levels, and it seemed all of the same logistics, until some bouncy walls were introduced, and bomb spawns, then I really started to get into it, shooting madly at anything that dare move in front of my eyes, but I never got to that stage where I ran out of spawns, if there was a limit, correct me if I’m wrong please, as I don’t have the foggiest I have a feeling this is going to be my longest review, as it is already 700 words long, still got lots of paragraphs to go! :D


It was all good, it must be said, I couldn’t find much wrong with this factor, the enemies were good, the walls were good, it was all very snazzy and well placed-which is good- as if this wasn’t fixed, I would be rage-quitting like mad, but I wasn’t, as I am biased, the minute I rage-quit, my contraception if the game changes COMPLETELY, I would probably avoid the game for at least a week, which would be tragic, as I do quite love it, not SO MUCH that I noob-spam that world with it, but I love it in moderation. [kisses computer]

Now, on to my Pros and Cons:


NICE IDEA: It has a good idea, with 2 spawners at one time in some levels to add some revolution to the game, and it did very well.

COOL SCENERY: It came across very well, in a neutral grey background, nothing too fancy in this game I’m afraid, but that’s for the better.

NICE MUSIC: It was the same a Youngcaliman’s Insidious Realm, and it adds a spooky effect to the game.




That is some good evaluation on a game, one of my best reviewing outcomes yet, even in my applications, I don’t think I have seen a better one? I’ll check and edit if needed.

Now, on to my ratings, which circulate severely around my pros and cons decisions, so here they are!

Originality: ___/_____

I have seen a few games like this, but none of them lived up to this game, this game was much better my a furlong, as it got featured by a good editor, I believe Jackjoshseb or Youngcaliman? They featured games recently....

Puzzles: ____/_____

This was meant to be a puzzle game, so I believe, or it most certainly came across that way when I was playing it, and it had some good puzzles, like when the slugs entered play, I thought it was completely random, but once I got into the level, they completely surrounded and influenced my decisions.

Scenery: ___/_____

It was a constant grey-scale scene through-out all of the levels I played, it seemed boring, but after 3 levels or so, you don’t seem to notice it as much, because you are already really engrossed into the game, before you care about anything scenery-wise, especially in the dying moments of the game, as you want to give it a proper send –off.

Placement: ____/_____

It was nice, nice. That’s all. Nice, it was enough to stop me from annoying the world, with: “WAAH IT GWITCHED! AHHH!”Not that I do that often, but when I do, by Jove, it’s loud, very loud. There isn’t much to comment on this rating, as I am evaluating bricks, so onto my next one.

Fun: _____/_____

This is the most important part of any game, of you ask me. People may not find it fun, but I am the sort of person who does love a good puzzle, and I can amuse myself with crosswords etc. All day, all night. (WHAT DA?) Nice Song that, anyways, onto my rating, it was fun, which is what the freakin’ paragraph is about!

Overall: ___________________/_________________________

19/25. Very good score, that equated to 76%, so that isn’t bad, it is almost 4/5 of 100, so it is almost perfect, just a few flaws here and there, so nothing too bad.

Feature worthy??

Well, apparently, this game was un-featured. However, my perceptions of the game have remained the same, so I still believe it to be feature worthy.


Crystal Cannon is a very good game, with everything taken into consideration, to make a very balanced game, with feature worthy content. My conclusions are always short, and here is no exception. Au revior.

This has been a review by Me, Sploderking27™. If anyone dares copy this, I have © under it, you’ve been warned! XD Feedback is appreciated as always, enjoy reading!


Crystal Cannon Reviewed by sploderking27 on Monday, April 2nd 2012. CWISTALS?!!! WHeRe?! I WOnT ONe! - A game review written by sploderking27 for the game 'Crystal Cannon' by hydroix1. Rating: 4