[MR] My Uncle Says Never To Play A Sax In A Cavern.

Barren Caverns is a game created by turtlee

This is Miracle Reviews, where we might just see a Miracle Game!

Prethoughts

Hello there. This is Stanley, bringing you not only my 5th review but also my second editor application!!!

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It seems the confetti cannon has failed again. Now, before we get to review, let me tell you a bit about myself since my last review. (Everybody do a synchronized groan. Very good.) I was recently promoted to soldier on the forums, and... Er... I would love to say there's something else, that's about it. (Thank God, amirite?)Well, on with the review. You are here with me today to read about a game called Barren Caverns- also because my henchmen took you here and tied you to your chair. If you are at all curious about this then feel free to ask questions at the end of the rant. Judging by the name, it sounds like a cave game (My deductive powers are quite impressive, eh?) and the thumbnail confirms that. Luckily, my uncle is a spelunker and knows everything there is to know about cave exploration, most of which he has told me. So, this game should be a snap. This turtlee guy looks like a stickler for decoration. There are two layers of the RampTiles, which is cool looking and never done before, but the genre of decor is far from creative. Caves. Ugh. If I had a nickel for every cave game ever created, I could buy myself, like, forty packs of gum. Maybe I could even splurge and get some of the fifty dollar bonus pack. Anyways, the decor looks kinda repetitive, but other than that I'm getting rather excited.

Game: Barren Caverns

Creator: Turtlee

Style: Trap

Gameplay

So, I'm first starting with the decoration and block placement. This is basically asthetics, and how good or how bad the game itself works. This category is going to be pretty short, because this is mainly puzzle/trap kind of game. However, I'm milking this part for as long as I can. My uncle told me to only explore caves with a light source, which this game provided (torch). This is a very strategic thing, however. You constantly have to choose whether you want to see or be safe from enemy attacks. You also have to remember to turn it on after swims in water and (slightly less enjoyable) lava. The decoration is also very good. It uses mostly irregularly placed walltiles, ramptiles, etc, that belong in the cave. If it where three dimensional, and less square-like, I could totally buy it as being a real cave. (Of course, most real caves don't have any traps in them...) Speaking of traps, I think it's about time to talk about them.

It becomes immediately clear to me that this is a trap game that consists mostly of using a switch to open a burstile, and then running as fast as you can so you don't get trapped by a cIoser. Now although these traps are rather successful if you don't see them coming, you do see them coming. Just about all the time. (There was, however, one very nice trap in the beginning so I shouldn't rag on that part of the game so much. You have to break several sandblocks before a cIoser crushes you against them. I will not disclose the secret of getting out, although it is pretty obvious.) My uncle always told me that caves usually consist of a few similar characteristics. Then again, he also said to eat all sandwiches with honey flavored popcorn. So maybe my uncle will be wrong this time. And boy, was he wrong!!! You find yourself catapulted into this wonderful world of chaos and pain. My uncle told me to always avoid chaos and pain, but I think it's kinda necessary in this case. The trap theme continues, but now it has become suspenseful and surprising. It almost makes up for the faildomship of the first couple of traps, almost as if they were there to prepare you. Although I died pretty quickly in this area, (A direct violation of my uncle's 'Do Not Die' rule) I can tell this part is a turning point for the game and definitely makes up for the crummy beginning.

Onwards to enemy placement. This part is going to be unusually short because there were very few enemies used in the game. Just like my uncle said, "Never go into a cave with people in it, nobody likes crowds. If there are people, make sure you have enough weapons to kill them all." Well, I did have a sword, so I guess it would be okay. I snuck up on the first enemy, and went up to attack him- OH SHIZZLE, HE HAS A SPEAR!!! So I go to my uncles plan B, Jump on their head and run. Yes, some of the enemies that I encountered in this game are, in fact, bypassable. However, since there is only one enemy you have to really have to tangle with, and it has a long range spear, that's not a big problem for this cave. So, onto the final category, fun.

I know a lot of the reviewers skimp on the fun category, mostly because there are other more important topics to go over and fun never really makes the cut. And beyond reviewers, my uncle seems to hate fun as well. ("Never ever go into a tunnel that may involve fun")But to me, I think fun is a really important part because if the game isn't fun, you aren't going to get a lot of replays. A lot of really hard games with wonderful puzzles get view shunned because they are sort of... Well, for lack of a better term; boring. A game needs winding corridors and steep ledges and other things that are fun to traverse over. This game definitely aced this part. It has loads of different terrains from flat and architectural to rough and natural

ones. You really get into playing it.

Conclusion

Final Score: 18/20

Well, before I leave, I have one last word of advice from my uncle: "Don't ever get meat from a truck. You don't know how long it's been there." Oops, it seems not only the confetti cannon is broken, but also the projector. Nothing ever works around here. Well, I guess I have to cut my review short, my uncle needs to go spelunking. On minecraft. What, you thought he was a real cave explorer? Ha, and I'm a pro gamer. See y'all later...

-SK