(EGD) I PlaY FoRTniTE

Review by beast4321 on Thursday, August 27th 2020
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Click to play Fortnite Chapter 2

Fortnite Chapter 2 is a game created by creatingames

"I SMarT YoU NuB 010010110101!"


G'day y'all, Beast here, a reviewer with a serious hatred of all correct use of capitols and punctuation, why may you ask? CuZ I SmARt. Today we have a game who's namesake is the global phenomena famous for causing rage quitting, carpal tunnels, and a whole generation of exceedingly obnoxious teenagers pretending to be children and being generally unpleasant online (it is what the internet's for.) This tragedy of a shooter is created by an individual known as Creatingames, who in another astonishing violation of the rules of grammar, is missing a G in his name. He also appears to have broken his nose, perhaps in a particularly intensive gaming session where, mid-screen-directed swear, he smashed his controller into his face and his nose has never recovered. It, is of course, Fortnite Chapter 2, the sequel no one asked for for the game that no one liked based off the MMO game that people like far too much.


I don't play Fortnite. I don't know whether there is a story in the original. I suspect there probably isn't; running round shooting people for hours on end, being magically reincarnated every time, for absolutely no reason, is pretty hard to justify narratively, and the production team had the sense not to try. Likewise, this shooter has no story.


Gameplay.


Sigh.


So, there's a default map. CG hasn't edited it all. There's a load of random enemies placed in this map. 96 to be exact. There's no logic or plan to this placement; they truly are placed randomly, in what appears to be the result of a particularly nasty seizure or something CG saw in a fever dream. Turrets, missiles, mortars, cruisers, heavy cruisers, guards, speeders. All decent enemies, good fun to take on. All of them have weaknesses, and are possible to destroy whilst taking minimal damage if the player deals their cards right. Heavy cruisers, slow turn speed, stay behind them, laser them to death; missile turrets, shoot their missiles; speeders, send rockets after them; turrets, it's possible, with careful movements, to make a number of gunning runs against them, dodge the return shots, and take them out without taking any damage. All of these things? You need to do them. Because this is a hard game. The player slowly clears this small map of the vast array of AI's placed inside it, pushing forwards, spotting each knot of turrets and working out how to break through whilst taking limited damage, luring out cruisers and lasering them to death, collecting the mega heaths scattered randomly about. It was vaguely amusing. There was a lot of strategy involved in minimising damage taken, watching the health bar, planning whether to keep gunning away, or make a run into a heavily defended area to grab a health pack or keep chipping away at the enemy defences. The player also starts with a trio of allies; sort of useful briefly, run into a corner, clear it, then send the allies out to die so they stop getting in the player's way.


This game is the work of five minutes. There's been zero effort put in. Placement was random. Mortars fired on their allies. It was nothing but AI spam. CG has fallen a long way from the legendary shooters he used to make. It was vaguely fun, more so than I like to admit for a game with so little effort put in.


No scenery. Looked bad.


In other words, it was exactly like Fortnite.


Gameplay; __.5/_____:
 
Placement; .5/_____:
 
Scenery; .5/_____:
 
The fact that ForTnITe iS tHE beST; _____________________________________________________________________________/_____:
 

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