(MLJ) He Was Such A Brave Soldier. Yet He Failed So Hard.

Soldiers Tears is a game created by neuron

Yep, you saw what I did there. Now, today's review will be on the Soldier's tears by Neuron, or Pandak in other words. You remember me Pandak, right? I'm your old buddy Jaggertoo. Now let us move on.

Introduction

Seeing as many months have gone by, I've found Pandak as a much more respected member to me. I enjoy his games a little more, and he has inspired me in a little way. This a good thing? to the records, it will depend on opinions. In other words, I don't know. But this, does not matter. It is thy game. Now, as I was saying, I respect Pandak a lot more now. He's mature, he's easy to get along with, and just a nice guy in general. Many people will have to agree with me on this, right? Well, many will agree, and many will not. Debate! Debate! Not today. We are busy kids. *Kids sigh* Oh don't get me started on little kids. One puked on me on Monday, but lets not go into the details. Anyhow. My first thoughts on this extravagant game. After I had played Toxic Colony many, many months ago, I realized how capable Pandak is of making an extraordinary game. But the pitiful thing is, Toxic Colony was a shooter. Or a shootah is Mat7772's case. Now, I do believe Pandak published a Platformer game back last year, at a certain point. If anyone knows where the link is then please pass on the message. Now, as much as I have enjoyed many a Pandak's games, I still have never played a Platformer by him. So will it be the excitment that got him his feature? Or the crushing edges that pull you to your limits. We'll find out later. Right now we're heading on towards the Thumbnail.

Thumbnail

Ahh. I remember a few years ago, when I first heard of thumbnail. I thought it was a nail in the thumb... The noob I was back in those days, hey? Then I remember thinking 'DBOT' was debate... But enough of my dreadful past, and onto my exciting future. Of me finally looking at the thumbnail.. Now, I saw red in the thumbnail. Lot's of red. Red, fiery blocks to be precise. That burnt your precious skin, and gave your Soldiers skin a horrid shock that he'll live to remember. Mwahahaha? Well, if you're a sad, magician, then yes. Mwahahaha to you. So to keep your attention, we will set off into the Wild ones where Mat is singing. Well, at least he was. Now enough of singing and what not. Now, you could possibly easily see what the first puzzle was in the Thumbnail, which can be a bad thing, giving things away. Now this may not be Pandak's fault, but this shows many a thing where you should place things, which is what we will talk about after the Story. So moving onwards, towards the empty train light.

Story/The Short Preview

Ahhh... Finally, a game with a story. I don't know the last day I found a game with an actual story, sadly, this game doesn't have a good story, it has a little, mini preview. *Yawn* I read the first two lines, and then I was done. It's that short, to be honest, we should re-name this paragraph into; "The little Preview". That fits nicely. Oh, and let me get this straight, The most Powerful Soldier, cries? This just makes no sense what so ever, and DRY tears? I just don't get it! Please, someone explain this extravagant Story.

Game-play

The game-play is as simple as simple can be. You use the arrow keys to move about, and you press spacebar to shoot. Oh yes, I nearly forgot, you use the 'up' key to jump. It, is that simple. There's your game-play paragraph, good day. *Leaves* *Comes back* Little too short that paragraph was. Now, while I was playing the actual game, I was relaxed. (Mostly because I had a can of coke, and was watching my little pony). Bronies all the way ya'll. Now, as for the actual game, you'd just be walking around in one path doing certain puzzles. And as I said in the introduction, is this exciting? Well many will disagree, but yes, it excites me. Sadly, there was no flavor when it comes to action. There wasn't the many of enemies, to me. Really, your only enemy, was gravity. Seeing as much of the floor was made of hot-blocks, you'd mostly, have to keep away from the floor. And there were no jet-packs in this game, so you can't just fly of into the distance away from the hot, melting floor. You'd have to conquer it yourself. I guess you could just keep jumping, but that would be cheating. Wouldn't it? And what's the point in cheating, many people do it these days, and there's no need. You use life fairly and that, is that. Now, as much as the game sounds simple, it's not. I didn't get as far as I thought I would. I got to the Fire whatever you call it with the key, and then, I died. Now, I'm not sure if that is far or not, but we can check that by looking at the map. Now, I'll do a little bit on addiction. The addiction of the 'Soldiers Tears', wasn't the highest. I played it about three or four times, but then I just lost interest completely. There were just no parts I had the edge to complete. So, if I do decide to add a Addiction score, don't expect it to be anything high Pandak. Now, rolling on. (Instead if moving, I'll use rolling).

Scenery/Creativity

Yes, I added 'Creativity' with Scenery, seeing as they fit well together. Now, the Scenery of 'Soldiers Tears' was more of something you'd name, "Hell and Heven" Rather than "Soldiers Tears". Sorry if the truth hurts, but just deal with it. Now, there were, really, no block placements, but HOT block placements. (I c what u did there?) Hopefully, you did, proving your not blind. Now, other parts of the Scenery were just enemies...crates...Ect. You get the picture. So, all I can say for the Scenery is; It was alright, but you really could of been a little more imaginative Pandak.

Now, the Creativity of games, is always in the users imagination. You always think; "Wow! I think I like this, maybe I'll put it here". See, this is creativity, IN YOUR MIND. So you can't exactly say you don't use the creativity in your mind, because technically, you do. Now, the creativity of Soldiers Tears, was very imaginative, and creative. Well, it's obviously going to be Creative, seeing as we called the paragraph, 'creative'. The creativity was extravagantly good, but the tiniest bit of blandness, too. There were many parts that caught the corner of your eye, but many that faded away into the dark, shadowy paths. So, all I can say is; "Good job, Pandak. But next time, work a little harder on the Scenery for me?"

Puzzles and Traps

Yes, we're on puzzles and traps. Now, the complete puzzle of this game is how you survive, seeing as there are many ways of dying. (Mostly from walking...) There were also a few puzzles along the way, but I won't ruin any surprises for you all, like I normally do. All I can say is; "They're exciting, and that's enough of that".

Placements

Ahhhh, here we are again my dear friends, onto thy placements. Now, many a placements have improved these days, but some still need to be improved. So let's see how Pandak has done today.

Now, the Health placement was put in many correct parts in Toxic Colony, but! Was it in the Soldiers Tears? Well, lives were, but I didn't see many health packs. This is pretty much a let down for me. As in, a let down. If you have life, at least spread out a little Health every now and then. it could help. And adding to many lives isn't always the best of ideas, either.

Now, enemy placements. Like I said before, there weren't many enemies at all. Sorry, but this is just my opinion. If you're offended, then take it out on me. Now, where there were enemies, they were in the perfect spots. So you couldn't go around them, or whatever you'd try to do, you just couldn't. But it'd of been nice to see a few more enemies, mind you. Now, moving on.

Pros: Good creativity, alright Game-play

Cons: Boring story, not very addicting, not much health, not many enemies.

Scores

Conclusion

Soldiers Tears is a normal platformer, with many good puzzles and traps. That'll get you on the edge of your seat, but it still has many down sides, and is just boring. So, in my opinion, sorry Pandak, but I wouldn't of featured the Soldiers Tears. But of course, this is my opinion, and the editor who featured it must of thought different. Goodbye.

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