[#1] - Omg I'm Jesus

Review by proxyrox on Monday, May 22nd 2017
Click to play minecraft

minecraft is a game created by boytucker

Greetings fine reader, I'm Proxy, and welcome to my reviewer application (originally submitted quite a while ago). Of the plethora of games on the featured page (at the time of writing), this particular day I'll be reviewing a recently featured (then un-featured and then re-featured again) game deceptively titled "Minecraft", created by Boytucker, otherwise known as Butter on the forums, which is how I will refer to him throughout the review. Butter is well known for his whimsical, unique (and widely considered annoying) personality on forums, especially notable for his gimmick of typing in a careless manner completely devoid of grammar, and his overuse of certain terms, most notably the acronym "tbh". Now to the question at hand, is Minecraft worthy of its featured status? Or is it simply another pitiful excuse of a game? We'll explore these queries in the following review:


Now, I've played several of Butter's games in the past, the majority of them clickbait PPGs with little to no content. Although, in saying that, a selected few could be passed as (however unpolished) decent games. A handful have some intriguing concepts (namely "Franklin McShinesAlot", "Little Buddy", and "Star Hero"), but they suffer from a dire lack of adequately thought out execution. I found myself questioning if Minecraft would remain on the featured page, considering many of Butter's games have been featured only to be promptly un-featured in the past. It is quite a possibility that Butter has had the most un-features out of any user on this site. I'll give him this though: not one of his games (those of which I've played at least) have been generic nor boring. Not one. Butter somehow manages to include a unique charm which I am yet to find present in another member's games. But back to the subject at hand, will Minecraft be an enjoyable experience? Will it even (although unlikely) have anything to do with he massively popular world-building game? Clicking on that ever so familiar yellow font, I found myself surprised to find it's a platformer game, seeing as Butter rarely works with the plat creator, making this all the more intriguing.


Oy vey. For those not familiar with Butter's ironically comical "Le Boof" series, Le Boof is a... strange... comic created by Butter with a particularly unique "art" style. The subjects typically have oversized heads with blank, emotionless expressions, and the dialogue itself typically consists of a pun-oriented set up and punchline complete with a grammar-less text, mirroring Butter's own way of typing. This style is strongly present in Minecraft, and oh my does it leave an impression. Every object, hazard and tile has some graphic of some sort, all of which are (and I'd expect no less of Butter) completely and utterly absurd in every way imaginable. The NPCs are some outlandish abomination of the human form, the enemies are unholy caricatures of what they were attempting to represent (I will never understand as long as I live why there were pirates thrown in there), not even the ground is safe from the ruthless machine of pure absurdity. The background is a bit of an eyesore, the clouds (and later on in the game, the stars) are poorly drawn (perhaps intentionally) and a tad repetitive. The "Moon" level is similarly visually strange, with what looks like a collection of failed bootleg aliens prancing around on a poorly drawn tile graphic of the moon's surface. Now that's not even mentioning the egg. The escape pod presented in the "In jail smh" level is a giant grey egg. Yes, that's right, an egg. Actually, for all I know the escape pod could be anything from an egg to a pirate with the established whim of the scenery. With having said all this, the scenery brings a unique, light-hearted atmosphere to Minecraft which is actually rather rare in any Sploder games in general. This leads us to the dialogue.

Storyline and Dialogue

Let's start this off by asking: does this have anything to do with the massive sandbox game of the same title? Of course not. It's clearly a clickbait title. With that settled, let's move to the (*cough* non-existent *cough*) storyline of the game. Firstly we're presented with an NPC slighter larger than our protagonist, greeting us with "hallo son", only to be followed with the invasive and quite frankly rude question of "y r u garbage". From this, one can infer that our protagonist has an uneasy relationship with its implied parent. The protagonist retorts with "i aint garbage smh", to which the parent (or whatever it is) expresses satisfaction, and we are promptly invited to "kill the guy upstairs". The following sequence has supposedly no relevance to this sad excuse for a story, only consisting of a battle with a large, overpowering enemy with some strange graphic only a mother could love. The player is then forced into "jail", and after some time we escape in what can only be assumed to be a conveniently placed flying egg. Then off we go on a jolly journey involving a trip to the moon and a battle with (oddly proportioned) pirates, all ending with yet another large enemy. Coherency is nowhere to the be found, and the whole thing comes off as essentially a collection of witty remarks and assorted one-liners scattered about for the sake of existing. I will admit some of the aforementioned remarks were rather clever, a particular standout occurring when the protagonist walks on water, exclaiming "omg im jesus". Overall, in terms of storyline, in Minecraft it's nowhere to be found, and quite frankly the fragments of what could possibly form one are a bit of a mess.


Surely with the absurd scenery and storyline, the gameplay has to be decent? To my surprise this is the only average thing in the game. The only thing the player needs to do is go back and forth, slashing eggs and pirates waiting for something to happen. No need for the player to explore, it's all linear action. However, this is not executed without fault. A particularly annoying glitch occurs on the second level, where the player is subject to being forced deep into the ground by a graphically demented robot, annoyingly the only solution is to refresh the game. Another instance of poor, or rather unnecessary, execution is the overload of power ups preceding the last level. Overall pretty average.


Minecraft is arguably the most unique game made in a while, complete with a content-less storyline and whimsical (read: completely ridiculous) graphics, and despite its flaws is an overall fun game. Now to the ever so important pros and cons:


- Interesting scenery

- Humourous dialogue

- Rich with personality / Unique

- Strangely charming graphics


- Average gameplay

- No coherent storyline

- No puzzles / Nothing other than mindlessly slashing pirates, aliens and eggs

- The glitch on the second level

Should this game remain featured? It's an extremely close decision, but I must say yes. It's a breath of fresh air for the featured page and is unlike anything else I've come across on this site before. To be perfectly honest I originally predicted this review would be overwhelmingly negative, but overall Minecraft is at it's core a fun experience (like every game should be), and I would especially recommend it for it's beneficial health qualities.

Final scores:

Scenery: ____/_____
Storyline and Dialogue: ___.5/_____

Gameplay: __.5/_____

Overall score: ___.5/_____

minecraft Reviewed by proxyrox on Monday, May 22nd 2017. [#1] - Omg I'm Jesus - A game review written by proxyrox for the game 'minecraft' by boytucker. Rating: 5