[EGD] Oh Mah Bahobe.. Or Bohobe?

OH MAH BAHOBE is a game created by greendino11

Hello, fellow cube friends! Today, I shall be writing my third review and this time for OH MAH BAHOBE, a game by Greendino11 (who is often known as a troll, or just plain immature). This game was created for the annual forum contest titled "Epic Game Drop 9". You'll probably see a lot of reviews for EGD 9 games, because every game has to be reviewed. If they didn't, I certainly wouldn't have chosen to review OH MAH BAHOBE.

Now, if you're up for a science lesson, here's a quote from Bolsillos informing everybody who this wonderful creature is. If you do not wish to go back to school for science, please skip to the tram lines (//) below.

"There is more than one Bohobe. Bohobes are wild animals that live all over the world. They were created by one of my alter egos Dr. Bohobe. Dr. Bohobe is a mad scientist.

He created a male and a female. He created them when he fused a Boa Constrictor, a Hobo, and a Bee together. He then cloned the first one (a male). The clone was female. After the cloning he had the two mate with each other. He kept having Bohobes mate with each other until there were 100 of them. He then released them all over the world. All Bohobe are related. Bohobes should not get confused for The Bohobes.

The Bohobes are humans who are fans of Bohobes. The Bohobes are the fans while Bohobes (without the "The") are animals. Bohobes can be tamed but only by people who have a pure heart of goodness. Bohobes are not evil. They are good.

(Bohobe is both a word and an animal.

The word can mean anything with its main meaning being Boa Constrictor Hobo Bee. The other Bohobe only means Boa Constrictor Hobo Bee.)"

// The review

So, the first thing I did (as always) was look at the thumbnail. Nothing pretty. Ugly, in fact. From the very non-detailed thumbnail, you cannot make out ( ͡� ͜ʖ ͡�) what is in the game other than a path and two buildings. And some outstandingly ugly trees. It really didn't impress me - but then again, what did I expect from Greendino?

Well, the one (and only) positive thing I can say about this game is that it actually has a storyline. You play as Bolsillos (you know, the guy who created Bohobe when he was 8 and 3/4) and he wants some grub. So you take him to a restaurant. This is where my first complaint comes in. The controls on level one are horrible! You can move up and down at 50 miles per hour, but moving left and right is so slow, you'd think time had stopped. Then he wants some happy fun time OJ, but you're fed up and give him six beers.

This, level two, is one of the only decent(ish) levels. I mean, the concept is totally overrated and overused, but you have to find those six beers. Although, credit to Greendino, some of the hiding places are pretty humorous. As a punishment, Bolsillos makes you feed him. This is the worst level in any game (well.. almost). They move super slow and the timer reaches 0 so fast. I won this with 1 second left. Sure, it's a challenge, but the food often gets stuck in Bolsillos' mouth without actually touching the score block.

If you're able to handle the rage, you'll get very bored. There are then two levels where you just watch and can't do anything. Then you've got an all right level where you have some real action - wrecking every building in sight. Just as you think you're having fun.. Yep, another do-nothing level. Poor Bolsillos is arrested. As the coppers took him away, his last words were indeed...

"OH MAH BAHOBE!"

Level nine, the last level (hallelujah), was (unbelievably) pretty good. Other than the fact it made me almost pull every single key off my keyboard, it was decent. It's the only level where it's like an actual game. You break out of jail and have to avoid cops, hit switches and.. rage. There are deadly traps like noobs (OH MAH BAHOBE) and lasers (which were pretty fun to avoid if you managed to get past the first cop).

This game did indeed make me cringe at points, but overall I'm proud to say.. I hated it. It's that kind of game you'd expect someone to sign up to Sploder and make almost instantly. Quite an unusual game to enter in EGD - wouldn't you rather enter a serious game and get something out of it (no, it's not all about the participation; your teachers are liars)? If you liked this game, you're most definitely a main site noob. By the time you get past level three or four, you've probably cried yourself to sleep or you've got a sledgehammer in your hand. If you're impatient, I recommend not playing this game. Why? Go and read this whole review again.

Now time for the terrib- game ratings...

Overall: 1.5/10

Sorry, Greendino, but this game isn't going to do very well. I'm not guessing, I'm certain. Also, if your name is Bolsillos and you've read this far, I apologize for this review. I had no choice. It was the only game I could be bothered to even try and play. I hope you and Bohoby, in your warm hearts, can forgive me.